In today’s world we no longer have to compete with just our classmates, our friends, or our family. We have to compete with every damn person in this world. With social media at our fingertips, we are caught in a never-ending battle between who we are and who we wish we were. You must have the latest lip liner to make sure you are looking your best tonight. You must spend your year-end bonus on the latest Michael Kors purse, God forbid you don’t have it this weekend. You better start that 30 day detox tea you saw on instagram if you want to look good in your bikini this summer. Everybody’s doing it.

Society has already decided for you what trend you must follow, what diet fad is the one that is going to make you lose that 10 pounds quick, and which designer shoes are going to find you your prince charming. We always think, “if only I looked better on the outside, I would be happy.”

Don’t get us wrong, there are a lot of great things happening on social media to help you reach your goals. There is a solution to anything you want to change on the outside that can be found with the click of a button. The problem is that most of them are quick-fixes, or temporary solutions.

What we are trying to achieve is long term confidence, long term success, and long term happiness. So where do you start?

Have you ever met someone you thought was absolutely gorgeous but as soon as she opened her mouth you could not understand why anyone would want to be around her. Or the opposite, have you ever met a woman you thought really got the short end of the stick and after getting to know her you could not wait to introduce her to your best guy friend?

The real truth is that internal transformation breeds external results.

Here are a few tips to start:

1. Get honest with yourself. 

What is really stealing your joy? Are you in an unhealthy relationship that continues to drag you down? Are you looking for validation in your friends or your significant other? Are you comforting yourself with food?

It is much easier to hold onto something that is unhealthy when it is comfortable. That cycle though is only going to reap misery instead of happiness. The longer you continue to blame your circumstance on others around you, the further you get from your destination. You have to get over what you feel like everyone else has done to you and accept that you are the only one who is accountable to you.

2. Baby steps are still steps. 

Set realistic goals for yourself. We have the tendency to go from zero to sixty and give everything which leaves us exhausted and not wanting to do it at all. Start doing something today that is going to get you one step closer to where you want to be tomorrow.

Take your time, you are never going back. Read self help books and find mentors who inspire and motivate you. The journey to the best version of you should be something you are proud to hang your hat on. You are not defined by your past, you are prepared by your past. No matter the size, every step you take forward will get you to your destination.

3. What you see is what you get.

Stop comparing yourself to everyone else. You are not everyone else, you were created with a purpose unique to you. As long as you continue to spend your time trying to be someone else you will never reach your full potential.

Use your scars to tell your story and wear the crown of victory you have so courageously earned. Your beauty will become immeasurable. You will never be able to stop life from happening, how you react is what will define you. Love the person you see in the mirror, she can be your worst enemy or your best friend.

4. You are your own worst critic. 

Own your imperfections. Learn from them, grow from them, and make them something beautiful. Do not get caught up in what you think everyone else thinks of you. At the end of the day as long as you know who you are, what you stand for, and what your purpose is; no one else’s opinion matters. Only you go to bed with yourself and only you wake up with yourself.

Learn to fall in love with every part of who you are. If you are not happy with something, change it. Be sure you want to making the change for yourself, not because someone else makes you feel that way. You must get rid of everything that negatively affects your life, you don’t have time for that.


Sarah and Samantha

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