I remember when I turned 30 I was beyond exhausted from being unhappy and the constant self-sabotaging behavior I was in. I had been divorced for four years, I was in a relationship that wasn’t working, my career was at a standstill, and I just wasn’t happy. I would want to make better decisions and win, I really wanted to win, but I found myself in the same environment over and over again. I couldn’t win without removing what held me back the year before with the same resolution. I literally had the ability to foresee the future. I knew all of the roadblocks, I knew the obstacles, and I knew the temptations like the back of my hand. The same things that failed my the year before would be the same things that failed me the next year, and again.
Until I finally did something completely different.
By the time I hit 31, I had enough. I was ready to finally break up with fear, for good.
Comfort zone was my best friend for as long as I could remember. It gave me feeling of security and control. And the older I got, the more I knew was at risk if I were to step outside of my comfort zone. Fear was tangible for me now. I could see it, I could touch it, and I could taste it. And the coward inside of me wanted nothing to do with it.
There was one problem with this fear, it had become something it was never designed to be. Instead of living in fear of unhappiness, I was living in a fear of happiness. Something I once dreamed of and longed for so deeply for, I would rather stay far away from. Happiness had become something I acquainted with starting over and every time I would get close, my fear would convince me to run back to my comfort zone.
This thing called fear, it’s one of the enemy’s most popular weapons he uses against us. And boy, did he love to use it against me. But little did I know that I had the power to overcome. Did you know that “Do not be afraid” appears 365 times in the bible. Three hundred and sixty five times- that’s one verse every day for an entire year. If that’s not reassuring then I don’t know what is. That alone gives me strength and courage to not have fear, like never before.
So how do you do it? How do you break up with fear?
One simple thing: you have to change your mindset and how you perceive fear. Why does the bible talk about not being afraid so many times?
“God did not give us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love and a sound mind.” (2 Tim 1:7)
If the voice you are hearing inside your head sounds like fear, it is not God or his plan for your life. It is the enemy trying to keep you from happiness. A phrase I always hold close, “Know your weakness because the enemy already does.” GOD is just the opposite- He is love, strength, courage, hope, truth, joy and peace.
I know it sounds a little cliche, God did not give you a spirit of fear so go ahead and break up with it, and I also know life can feel more complicated than that. When I look back at that time in my life where I let fear control me, I see now is that fear was only holding me back from living the life I was designed to live. So I chose to let it go. And I make that choice every day, over again.
I will never again allow fear to steal time from my life. I only get to live this life once, and I only get one shot at at it.
So Sister Warrior if you are struggling with fear today, let it go and let GOD. As always, I’m here for any support, love or courage you need.
PS- Here at Never Be Average we created a platform called Forgiveness Letters. These letters have been a powerful testimony of strength, triumph and forgiveness. If you are ready to let go of you past, move on and forgive, we would love to feature your story here!