The goal of a long term relationship is in most cases: love and happiness. That sounds easy enough, right? Well if you have been in a relationship before or you are in one now, then you know the term easy is an overstatement. The good news is that there is one thing you can control in your relationship: YOU.

As women we naturally want to overthink everything which causes us to get in our own way. It is easy to get caught up in what everyone else is doing, and convince yourself that you have to do it better or be better than they are. That mentality is going to hand you a miserable relationship on a silver platter.

Healthy relationships are not built from living up to society’s standards; they are built from the effort that both individuals contribute to the partnership. Relationships were designed to add value to your life, and we believe independent, strong women have got that figured out.

Now we are not defining the independent, strong woman as only career-driven, ambitious, and financially successful; we’re also talking about the woman who stays home, folds laundry, washes dishes, and always has dinner on the table. You can be a stay at home mom or the CEO of a Fortune 500 company; independence isn’t only available for specific job titles.

An independent, strong woman knows who she is, what she stands for, what she wants, and she makes the best partner because she brings the following to the relationship:

She has her own identity.

She has a strong sense of self, she understands the value of what she has to offer, and she refuses to lose that. She spends time nurturing the things that makes her who she is, instead of stuffing them in the closet trying to be someone else. She fills her own buckets and allows the relationship to add additional value to her life, instead of defining it.

She is solution driven.

An independent, strong woman seeks to understand the root cause of an issue and then diagnoses the best solution for lasting results. Her man knows he can always come to her for support in times of need and she consistently comes through with a solid solution. She listens to hear him, instead of listening to respond, which allows him to be completely vulnerable with her.

She doesn’t lose other important relationships.

A lot of women get caught up in the high of a new relationship, and before they know it, their friends no longer pick up the phone to call them anymore. An independent, strong woman makes girls night out, exercise routines, and time to herself a priority. She understands that both parties in the relationship are individual people with individual needs and that neither can be responsible for fulfilling all of them.

She is constantly growing.

Personal investment is crucial to overall happiness. She schedules time every day to do things that make investments in her. She understands that in order to be the best partner, she must be the best version of herself first. She keeps her circle and influences tight so that her time is spent around people and things that motivate, inspire, and lift her up.

She brings a healthy balance of compromise.

An independent, strong woman may be stereotyped as selfish because she more often than not puts herself first. The truth is actually quite the opposite. Yes she takes care of herself and their needs, but that allows her to give fully of herself to her partner and to develop a thoughtful understanding of her partner’s needs and desires.

She gives him the opportunity to miss her.

She is confident, secure, and self-reliant which means her partner is able to connect deeply with her.  This will leave him feeling like a piece of him is missing when she is not around. Our hearts need room to breathe. She understands the importance of her and her partner enjoying their time away from each other so that when they are together they appreciate the value each person brings to the relationship.

She wants him, she doesn’t need him.

Relationships were designed to add value to a person’s life, not become a person’s life. Through her independence her relationship becomes a choice, rather than a need to breathe. She is not in a position to make decisions out of obligation; she is in a position to make decisions out of freedom. She isn’t trying to look like anyone else, sound like anyone else, or live like anyone else.

She is sexy.

An independent, strong woman radiates confidence. She knows who she is, what she stands for, and what she wants, and that is sexy. The more she invests in herself and makes time for herself, the deeper, more passionate, and more vulnerable her love for her partner becomes. She is the woman who will set the world on fire.

Independent, strong people get to experience next level love in relationships. Their intimacy soars to new heights. Their time together is more valued and appreciated. Their respect for each other is mutual and thoughtful. They learn to deeply understand each other and acknowledge the things that are important to the other person. They do not take one moment for granted.

Here is to all of the independent, strong women out there. May we know them, may we be them, may we raise them.


Sarah and Samantha are relationship experts, life coaches, speakers, and founders of Never Be Average. Over the last 14 years they have experienced life changing events such as marriage, divorce, infidelity, betrayal, getting held at gunpoint, and more. They left the comfort of their corporate jobs to start Never Be Average and together they help women overcome adversity, set healthy boundaries, build confidence, fall in love with themselves, and design a life they love.


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