Dating is like going on that roller coaster ride at the fair that looks like you might have fun, but then you might lose your life at the same time. Honestly, unless you have already met the person and are interested, the thought of dating sucks.
You have always heard there are plenty of fish in the sea, but come on, a good one is few and far between these days. You have finally found a man worthy of taking home to mom and dad, and you are excited about it. Not only is he tall, dark, and handsome but he’s smart, funny, and thoughtful. You were just starting to get used to the idea of being single forever, and then he swooped in when you least expected it. Just like everyone always says, right?
Women, we like to go zero to sixty real quick when it comes to dating a guy. Heck, we’re not going to waste our time so if we have made it to date number 3, we are probably already planning the wedding. We get it, you have been waiting your whole life to find Mr. Right. And There is no way you are letting him get away.
So why after months of dating is he telling you this isn’t working anymore? You are blindsided, hurt, and confused.
Everything seemed perfect; you have fun together, you get excited to see each other, he gets along well with your family, and together you talk about the future like the next step is on its way.
You want an explanation.
We have five excuses he may give you that have more to do with him than you:
My last relationship.
If there has not been a lot of time in between you and his last girl, this is going to be an easy go-to for him. The truth is that he probably thought he was ready and once things started to get more serious it was too close to home. Maybe he has not had enough time to heal, or figure out what he really wants, or he does not want to get his heart broken again. The problem with this one is that a lot of times we only hear that he needs time to heal and move past his last relationship, and that once he has that space that he will come back.
The honest truth, you were exactly what he needed during this part of his journey. We say this to help you understand that the break up has more to do with where he is at in his journey, but should not stop you from moving on and continuing your journey.
I don’t want to hold you back.
Whether it is moving in together, having kids, getting married, ect., he does not want to hold you back. The truth is he doesn’t want you to sacrifice the things you want because he does not want the same things. The problem with this one is that a lot of times we only hear that he is at a different place in his life, and that if you were willing to sacrifice it all then you could be together.
The honest truth, he knows what you really want out of life and your partner. We say this to help you understand that you should not sacrifice your needs and desires, there are plenty of men out there who want the same life you do.
The distance is too much.
If you have to travel to see each other, this is probably going to be what you get. The truth is he has not had a problem traveling to see you so far, why the sudden change of heart? Distance takes a toll on relationships. The problem with this one is that you are willing to sacrifice anything for this man so all you need is for him to tell you when to rent the U-Haul, and then you can be together.
The honest truth, he is not willing to move, and he is not sure he is ready for you to invade his space either. We say this to help you understand that if distance is the one thing that ends your relationship, he was not ready to really commit to you.
I am on the fast track.
Career progression takes a lot of time. Maybe that’s climbing the corporate ladder, running a business, or pursuing a dream. The truth is that he does not want this relationship to distract him from his goals. The problem with this is you hear that either you are too needy or he needs more time away from you, and that if you give him more space that this relationship can continue.
The honest truth, you are a distraction. It is not about the amount of time he has to work on his career. We say this to help you understand that his career is his priority, and no matter how much space you give him, the job will always come first.
I wish the timing was better.
Timing, timing, timing. Honestly, the success of relationships before marriage typically come down to timing. The truth is that people go through life experiences at different times and if one person is farther ahead, typically it is too much work to help the other person catch up. The problem with this one is that we hear that he needs more maturity and growth, and if you work on that then your relationship is good.
The honest truth, timing is everything. Some people come into your life to teach you something, and some people come in to your life to stay. He does not feel like where he is at matches up with where you are at. You will never be able to beat timing.
There is a funny thing that happens when we try to force a relationship, it never works out. If you were happy before him, you will be able to be happy after him.
Sarah and Samantha
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