Our society has taken off on a great journey from “hate” to “self-love”. Every other article shares advice on how to love and accept yourself as you are. Which all sounds great until you find yourself scrolling through social media and comparing your life (or lack thereof) to everyone else’s in the first two minutes.

You suddenly find yourself flipping over to the latest articles filled with quick fix solutions, fad diets, and basic how-to’s that are supposed to instantly change your life.

The truth is that only you can determine what makes you truly happy and, if you are honest with yourself, you are probably pretty good at getting in your own way.

Many studies show that your satisfaction in your relationship with your significant other is the main factor of your overall satisfaction with your life. If that is the case, your relationship is probably the first place you should be looking if you are feeling like there must be something more.

Here are seven reasons you are settling for less than you deserve.


The old saying, “age ain’t nothing but a number,” went out the door when the rest of your friends started getting married and starting families. With everyone else’s “perfect life” on display through social media it makes it even harder to keep up with the Joneses, and as the clock keeps ticking you feel further and further behind.

Time is not going to stop moving forward, but you get to decide what the future looks like. Find someone who truly makes you happy, instead of sacrificing your happiness because you feel like it is now or never.

Comfort zone

Let’s be honest, we all fear the unknown. The problem is that most often our relationship becomes all we know. You find your identity, purpose, and safety in the person you come home to. You share friends, assets, and a lot of the same favorite places. You may be dissatisfied, but the ease of the relationship outweighs the risk of leaving for something greater.

There is a whole world waiting for you outside your comfort zone. You have experienced enough in life that any great reward comes with a risk.


There are a lot of things that will happen in your life, people and events, that will do their best to make you feel like you are not good enough. That does not mean it is the truth. We teach people how to treat us and your significant other will only value you to the extent that you value yourself.

You must write your own story. It’s time to raise your price tag.

Social life

If you have been in a relationship for a while there is a good chance you have a lot of the same friends. It can be very scary to think about how friendships would be affected if you separated. People separate all the time, what you have to learn is as long as you are making decisions for other people; you are never going to be truly happy.

Your friends will pick their team. You have to find confidence in knowing those who are for you will never be against you.

Community property

You may own a house together, a car, or even a pet and even the thought of how you would separate everything is a tough pill to swallow. You know it is possible because people split their assets every day, but just the thought of the amount of work that would take keeps you around.

You have to come to terms with the weight of the burden over “who keeps the house?” verses the weight of the burden of unhappiness.

Fear of being alone

Naturally as humans we crave companionship. Unfortunately, that leads us sometimes to sacrificing our own happiness for the sake of just having someone around. The thought of spending nights alone may be a scary one, but the thought of spending the rest of your life with someone who does not make you happy should scare you even more.

Once you leave you will learn more about yourself, your needs, and your desires than you expect which will lead you into a life where you will never feel alone again.

Fear of starting over

It seems so much easier to stick around than to process the thought of starting over. We get it, at this point you have built a life together. He is all you know, and although you have stray thoughts of what it would be like to be with someone else, you can’t really imagine your life with someone else. That is why even when we know the relationship is not working anymore; we do everything we can to keep it together.

Relationships were designed to add happiness to your life, not be your happiness. When you are forcing something that no longer makes you feel valued or happy, everything else in your life is going to be affected by it.

If you relate to any if the seven situations above, we get it, we have been there. This is the point where you owe it to yourself to be honest about your level of satisfaction in your relationship and what you are sacrificing by staying.

The best part about being in a relationship is having a partner. Someone to come home to, someone to share your feelings with, someone  who has your back, someone who helps you make decisions, someone who celebrates you, and someone who makes you feel understood. Every moment in life is not going to be perfect, but when you are a team, you never feel alone.

If you’re at a point where you are ready to change, now is your time, and we are ready to help!

Sarah Rusca and Samantha Messersmith are relationship experts, life coaches, speakers, and founders of Never Be Average. Over the last 14 years they have experienced life changing events such as marriage, divorce, infidelity, betrayal, getting held at gunpoint, and more. They left the comfort of their corporate jobs to start Never Be Average and together they help women overcome adversity, set healthy boundaries, build confidence, fall in love with themselves, and design a life they love.

photo credit: littletonbrothers.com