It happens often in relationships: a slow downward climb, feeling less than satisfied with the current temperature of your relationship, and then suddenly a massive gut wrenching halt into, “I don’t know if this really going to work anymore?”
When this happens most people keep their feelings to themselves in fear of judgement and criticism when seeking advice from friends, and the longer the feelings are ignored, the quicker the issue gets brushed back under the rug. Often it becomes easier to ignore the issue and hope time changes things.
Any time you make excuses or justifications to ignore your feelings you are only putting a temporary mask over them, and as you already know, they always find their way back to the surface.
Every relationship is going to have its ups and downs, but it is important for you to understand the level of downs and the signs that it is time to put your happiness first.
Here are seven red flags your relationship is in trouble.
You fight over everything.
You are an individual with unique needs and so is your partner, that means you are guaranteed to have a difference of opinion every once in a while. It is healthy to have situations where you disagree because it provides opportunity for growth and learn the value of meeting in the middle. The red flag comes into play when you cannot stop fighting; there is no compromise, no listening, and no balance.
There is a lack of intimacy.
We are referring to intimacy as the whole nine yards here: physical touch, deep conversation, emotional connection, and play time in the bedroom. No one is saying there is a specific frequency required in order to find ultimate happiness in your relationship; that should be determined by the two of you. The red flag comes into play when the frequency meter is consistently below your already average low.
You don’t have fun together anymore.
Every couple has things that are special just between the two of them. Walks in the park, date night at your favorite pub, having friends over for dinner, even minor things like grocery shopping together on Sunday. Those are the moments that keep your relationship going strong when all else feels like it is failing. The red flag comes into play when you start to feel like the things you used to enjoy together aren’t very fun anymore.
You fill up your calendar.
Independence is crucial to a happy and healthy relationship, to an extent. It is important to have your own friends, hobbies, and passions that are things just for you that add value to your life. It is also important for him to have those things as well. The red flag comes into play when you start to pack your schedule tight so that you can spend the least amount of time with him.
You talk down to each other.
Often when we are feeling upset, stressed out, or unhappy we take out our emotions on those closest to us. We use them as a punching bag because we need to get it out; and as history has put it, they are still there with open arms when we are done. That doesn’t make it right of course, but as humans sometimes we fail. The red flag comes into play when you start criticizing each other’s character and/or image.
Have you ever heard the phrase, “A little white lie never hurt anyone.”? Well we call BS on that one. There is no excuse to lie to someone you love. You should have the same expectation of them for you. Again, we’re human though and sometimes we omit the whole truth or exaggerate it because we want to have something our way. The red flag comes into play here when you start feeling comfortable adjusting the truth because you don’t want to deal with the wrath of confrontation.
You don’t feel like a team anymore.
The best part about being in a relationship is having a partner. Someone to come home to, someone to share your feelings with, someone who has your back, someone who helps you make decisions, someone who celebrates you, and someone who makes you feel understood. Every moment in life is not going to be perfect, but when you are a team, you never feel alone. The big red flag comes into play when you don’t feel like he’s your person or has your back anymore.
If you relate to any of the seven situations above, we get it, we have been there. This is the point where you owe it to yourself to be honest about your level of satisfaction in your relationship and what you are sacrificing by staying.
If you are at a point where you are ready for change, now is your time and we’re ready to help!
photo cred: sheknows.com