A friendship should be like a marriage; that person should love you through thick and thin, in the good times and in the bad times. We all have different buckets in our lives that need to be filled and our friendship bucket is just as big, if not bigger than our relationship bucket.
Just like you are not always going to pick the right guy, you are not always going to pick the right girl friend either. It is important to be aware of the signs that she is just not that in to you. We long for female interaction because we speak the same language and we fight the same battles. It is girl code: we just get each other.
You may love her because you have things in common like your style, your job, or you run in the same crowd. But, just because you have something in common does not mean she is the one for you. Surface friends are the ones who are always going to leave you disappointed. True friends are dependable, loyal, trustworthy, compassionate, and always a good time.
Surface friends aren’t for you, and we have six reasons that is all she is.
She Makes Excuses
There is always something. Whether she forgot that she had another engagement, she has a big proposal at work tomorrow, or she forgot that she had to help her mom with something at the house, she always has a reason for leaving early or cancelling plans. If you find that you are always clearing your schedule for her but she can barely seem to fit you into hers, you should take a deeper look at your friendship. We make time for the things that are important to us, and true friends always make time for each other.
She Is Always in Competition
Competitive friends do not like to see other people doing anything better or different than they are doing, including you. This friend will constantly make subtle remarks about other people’s progression and quickly change the subject when you want to share something that is going well in your life. Friendship is not the place for competition. True friends will celebrate the big and the small wins with you, while surface friends will try to take your stage.
Gossipers have a clever way of gaining your trust by sharing everyone else’s business with you. Don’t be fooled by this friend, she will be the first to go tell your business to everyone else. This friend will always be nice to your face and make you feel like she is in your corner when really she is trying to get information out of you so that she can use later to make herself feel better. True friends only speak positive of you, regardless of if you are around or not.
She Drags You Down
This is the friend who always has something negative to say. She will be the first to share her opinion and the last to be accountable for the things she does. This friend will tug on your heart strings to make you feel sorry for her and her situation, and also make you feel guilty when things are going well for you. She will make you feel obligated to make her life better, when in turn she is only going to suck the life out of you. True friends motivate, inspire, and lift each other up.
It Is Always About Her
Every time you try to throw in something that is going on in your life she nods her head and then quickly changes the subject back to her. This friend does not have the capacity to think about anyone besides herself. She will make you feel like it is an honor to be her friend because everything in her world is so great. There are two people in a friendship, you are equally as important. A true friend takes the time to listen to what is going on with you, and she genuinely cares.
You Cannot Trust Her
This is the friend you are afraid to share anything with because she is going to judge or criticize you. You also do not know who she is going to run and tell. When you are not able to have open and honest conversations with a friend, that person is not really a friend. If you question whether she would have your back when your name is brought up and you are not around, she is just a surface friend. You can share you deepest darkest secrets with your true friend and know that it would never leave the room.
Surface friends feel good in the moment because there is something intriguing about them, but when you need them most they are no where to be found. Friendship should be saved for those who add value to your life, and inspire you to be a better person. When you keep your friendship bar high you will find that you are happier and that you become a better friend yourself.
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Sarah and Samantha
photo cred: sheknows.com