As you get older you learn that the quality of a friendship is more important than the quantity of friends. Your needs become deep and emotional which results in you wanting more from your friendships. We get just as hopeless romantic over having a best friend as we do over having a significant other.
The more we need from other people, the more time and energy we spend worrying about what the people in our life are brining to the table.
The question is, what do you bring to the table? When was the last time you really reflected on your friendships, looked yourself in the mirror, and asked, “what kind of friend am I?”
We are so quick to place blame on others before evaluating how well we fulfill our role and responsibility to our friends. First, you need take the time to figure out how to be the best friend you can be. Then, you need to evaluate the relationships in your life.
Now ask yourself, “do my friendships lift me up and motivate me or do they drag me down, steal my joy and my precious time?”
We all face trials and tribulations at some point in our life. Whether it be infidelity, loss of a job, divorce, a break up, financial issues, children, or something else. Life puts us in vulnerable positions where we need someone most.
Who are your neutral friends? When you go through a breakup who is going to be on your team and who is going to remain friends with both of you? When all of the girls get together who is going to keep quiet and who is going to defend you when your name is brought up during gossip hour? When you make a bad decision who is going to be there to comfort you and who is going to judge you? There has to be accountability here though, you cannot be a neutral friend either. When you call someone your best friend, you better ride or die for them too.
The reality is that there are a lot of people in your life who will be your friends when it is convenient for them. There are not a lot of people who will ride or die with you, but that doesn’t mean you settle for anything less.
The honest truth, why would you keep a friend in your life who gives you anything less than 100%?
Really ask yourself, “what is my time worth?”
The only people you should be giving your time to are the ones who have your back no matter what. The friend who is going to love you and support you unconditionally. The friend who you do not have to explain yourself or your decisions to because that person has you, that person knows you. The friend who is for you, not against you.
When shit hits the fan for you who is there? Anyone who does not show up at your door does not deserve your time. When you go through something life changing and your friend does not reach out for a month, why are you still friends?
Remember, relationships are a privilege, not a right. People come into your life for a reason, and they are removed from your life for an even greater reason. Love yourself enough to remove people out of your life who are not giving you 100%.
Sarah and Samantha
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